


Remembering

by emeraldsage85



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-23 22:10:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4894228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldsage85/pseuds/emeraldsage85
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ianto is feeling second best after Gwen's wedding. Jack helps him to see that isn't true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remembering

Ianto sighed in disgust as he watched Jack joking around with Gwen. Even on her wedding day the two of them couldn’t stop making eyes at each other. He’d long ago realized that he was always going to be second best for Jack, just a part-time shag until something better came along; but seeing the two of them dancing together had stirred up feelings of jealousy within him and he’d cut in before it could go any further. Still, as they’d swayed to the music he had felt that Jack’s mind was somewhere else…with someone else, he thought. 

As soon as he was able to, Ianto had excused himself to see to the retconning of the guests. It had been no easy feat to get an entire of wedding full of people to drink the champagne he had laced and it took even longer still to arrange for them to be taken care of once they’d fallen asleep. With the help of the team he’d managed to get everyone into cabs (paid for by Torchwood of course) or safe places to sleep off their hangovers. The sun was just beginning to rise when they’d finished. Ianto found himself feeling bone weary and he just wanted to go home to sleep for eternity in his own bed.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and a friendly voice whispered in his ear, “Mine or yours?” 

Ianto stiffened, feeling jealous anger bubble up within his chest. Maybe it was because he was tired, maybe it was because he’d drunk too much champagne earlier, or maybe it was just simply that he’d had enough, but Ianto wasn’t going to stay silent any longer. 

“I’m going back to mine. **Alone** ,” he said pointedly, putting a sharp emphasis on the last word. 

Jack was nothing if not perceptive and his demeanour shifted from one of friendly casualness to the cold, penetrating look usually reserved for the most troublesome of aliens and disobedient staff members. 

“Something wrong?” he asked.

“Let’s get out of here before this gets ugly,” Owen muttered to Tosh.

The two of them made a hasty exit, which went unnoticed by Jack and Ianto, who were staring at each other in rage.

“You! That’s what’s wrong,” Ianto spat, “Don’t think I couldn’t see it: you and Gwen mooning over each other while Rhys is oblivious. I’d rather go home and sleep alone than be somebody’s consolation prize!”

Jack himself was bristling with anger but Ianto could tell he was holding back. For a moment he stood there, saying nothing but appraising Ianto with fiery eyes. Then he spoke, measuring each word carefully.

“It’s not what it looks like.”

“Then what is it? Because it sure looked like you were interested to me!” Ianto snapped.

“Let’s not do this here. Come back to the Hub,” Jack said in a dangerously low tone. 

“No. If there are no other workplace duties you require of me, then I’m going home, sir.”

He turned on his heel and marched out of the reception hall. He’d only made it a few steps when he felt Jack grab his sleeve and yank him around so that they were face to face.

“Just come back to the Hub, please.”

Jack’s tone was softer this time and there was something in his eyes that Ianto couldn’t quite read. He swallowed hard, deciding that they might as well get it over with if they were going to break up. Could he really call it breaking up when he wasn’t even sure how to label their relationship, he mused.

“All right.”

The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could really stop them and the next thing Ianto knew, he was being steered towards the passenger seat of the SUV by Jack. He got in and buckled his seat belt, being careful to look anywhere but at the face of the man next to him. They made the drive in stony silence with neither of them speaking or making eye contact. Once at the Hub, Jack took Ianto’s arm and led him up to his office. 

Ianto now found himself being forced to sit on the sofa, a glass of whiskey pressed into his unwilling hands as he waited in silence for the inevitable to happen. Jack ignored Ianto for the moment and seemed focused entirely on the contents of his desk drawer before pulling out a green metal box. For a second he rifled through it and Ianto craned his neck to see the contents, which he realized were photographs. Jack selected one and joined Ianto on the sofa.

“This is Rachel,” he said.

Ianto took the faded sepia-toned photo from Jack and stared at it curiously. In it, Jack was dressed smartly in a dark suit and cravat with his hair neatly slicked to one side. Standing beside him was a young woman in a lacy white dress, holding a bouquet of roses. She was a dead ringer for Gwen, right down to the wide doe eyes and dark hair. Suddenly everything clicked into place and Ianto felt a bit ashamed of himself for being so jealous earlier.

“You were remembering,” he murmured. 

Jack nodded.

“Gwen’s a lot like her,” he said softly, “It makes it hard to forget when you’re faced with your former wife’s doppelganger every day.”

“Is that why you hired her?” Ianto questioned.

Jack sighed and his gaze shifted to Ianto’s face.

“No. I hired her because Suzie was dead and she was there,” he admitted. 

Ianto drained the last of his whiskey and set the glass down on the floor next to the sofa. Then he moved himself closer to Jack, enough to touch him but not enough that they were pressed together. He rested his hand on Jack’s knee.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to Rachel?” he asked. 

Jack shifted uncomfortably for a moment before replying, “I met her in 1929. She was eighteen years old and she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever laid eyes on. She had on hell of a personality too; she was caring but incredibly stubborn. She’d always stand up for what was right. Occasionally it got her into trouble.”

“Sounds like Gwen all right,” Ianto muttered.

Jack gave him a small smile before continuing, “We got married. I shouldn’t have done it because I already knew I couldn’t die but I just couldn’t give her up. For two years things were pretty normal, until…”

“Until?” Ianto prompted.

“We were out one night, walking together through the park. A man tried to rob us at knife point and I protected Rachel. I took a knife right to the chest and died in front of her. When I woke up, I was in the morgue and everyone thought I was dead. I couldn’t risk being found out so I left town. It must have been terrible for her, thinking that I’d died and then not even having a body to bury,” Jack said in a strangled voice.

He shifted his gaze to the floor and turned away. Ianto knew it was to hide the emotions that were swiftly bringing Jack to the breaking point. He reached over and took Jack’s hand in his. He squeezed it a bit harder than necessary but Ianto didn’t care. 

“Did you ever see her again?” he asked. 

“Only from a distance; she remarried and had three kids. I felt awful and I wished I could have her back but it wouldn’t have been fair to her. In the end I’m glad she was happy, even if it wasn’t with me.”

“I’m sorry,” Ianto murmured. 

“I miss her terribly sometimes and I think that makes me treat Gwen the way I do. It’s not about her; it’s about the chance I never got. I have to remind myself that Gwen’s not Rachel. She’s her own person and has her own life outside of Torchwood with Rhys,” Jack sighed.

Ianto thought about what it would be like to go to work every day with someone who looked and acted like Lisa and felt himself blanch. He wanted to believe Jack completely but there was still something at the back of his mind, something he was dying to ask. He tightened his grip on Jack’s hand before summoning his courage.

“What about me? Where do I fit in? Do I even matter to you?” he asked.

Jack looked taken aback for a moment. 

Then he said softly, “Of course you matter. We wouldn’t be here right now if you didn’t.” 

He lifted their entwined hands and brushed his lips over Ianto’s knuckles. Suddenly Ianto felt weary. The adrenaline that had kicked in earlier while he’d been angry was wearing thin and he closed his eyes, fighting against the exhaustion that threatened to overtake him. 

“Yours,” he said suddenly.

“What?” Jack asked with confusion.

“You asked me if I wanted to go to mine or yours. Since we’re already here I guess we’re going to yours,” Ianto said.

He opened his eyes to a grinning Jack Harkness.

“I meant to sleep,” he said quickly.

“I know. You look like you could drop off any second. Let’s get you to bed,” Jack said as he helped Ianto over to the manhole in the floor. 

Later on, lying in bed with Jack and nearly on the verge of sleep, Ianto decided that even if things were always complicated there was nowhere else he’d rather be.


End file.
